Holiday Cheer and Bring on Next Year

December 2023

Happy holidays! I hope you have a festive drink in hand while you read this, as nothing says cozy like a hot holiday beverage. Now, the form it takes is your adventure to choose. Are you a hot cocoa fellow, a mulled wine gal, a apple cider chap, an eggnog chickadee, or maybe you like to spice up your coffee with a drop of baileys? Whatever your delight, I hope it’s delicious.

In this month’s newsletter, scroll down to find:

  • Contest of Queens won a SOVAS!
  • Rose Petal Princess sale
  • Book Nook- a year in review
  • Captain’s Log: getting into a certain spirit
  • Review Corner

SOVAS WINNER

That’s right ladies and gents, Contest of Queens recently won its SECOND award for the incredible audiobook narrated by Karissa Vacker! I am over the moon and in the stars about this! What an honor, and I can’t praise Karissa’s narration enough. She brought such vibrancy to my story, I can’t imagine it told by anyone else!

In her Instagram post about the award, Karissa commented:

I’m feeling extra grateful to have won a SOVAS (Society of Voice Arts and Sciences) Award last night.

CONTEST OF QUEENS by the brilliant @jordanhbartlett is such an incredible book that explores the beautiful power of women and friendship and I was delighted to narrate it. This book was honored in the teen category, but anyone of any age would enjoy it.

Karissa Vacker, Dec 11, 2023

The audiobook is sold across all audiobook platforms and is rentable at most public libraries (and if it’s not, request it and your library will happily get it in). Curious as to what all the hullaballoo is about? Listen to the first couple of hours for free on Spotify here:

Rose Petal Princess Sale

Self publishing is all about learning, and I recently learned there was a way to produce these books more cost effectively so I can reduce the price! What that means is, this little gem is going on sale!

$10.00 CAD and free shipping worldwide for the months of December and January!

Woohoo!

So if you would like a signed copy, please contact me here and I will get one on its way to you lickety split.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, jump on over here, or watch the video below, and I’ll catch you up even sooner 🙂

I would recommend this collection for 9+ year olds as the themes and stories are a tad on the dark side… (mwahahaha)

Book Nook – A Year in Review

Welcome to my Book Nook, a monthly podcast I created where I chat with authors about their upcoming releases and we nerd out over their literary brain children. Take a gander at our year in review! For an experience in instant teleportation, click a thumbnail and enjoy the ride.

Now, you may be thinking: “wait a minute, if I know my months like I know my years, six podcasts does not a monthly podcast make,” and you would be right. Good eye! Some months instead became written interviews, and some months were author panels hosted on other channels, and these can be found in my monthly newsletters – so if you haven’t subscribed for monthly goodies… what are you waiting for? Join the club here:

Captain’s Log

Getting into a Certain Spirit

What can I say of Christmas that hasn’t been said before? I love it, plain and simple. Moving back to a frozen tundra is made much easier when you can reframe it as a winter wonderland. So this month has been a whirlwind of Christmas activities! Banff – the snowglobe town that it is – is full of festive things to do, be it Christmas markets, outdoor light sculptures (with the added bonus that you can save Christmas at the end of your walk), snow globe dining, ice sculptures, frozen bars, tree festivals, and an extra special visit with Santa. I didn’t mean this post to sound like a Banff tourism article, but it’s been pretty spectacular.

Met ol’ Chris Cringle himself

Anyone who’s read my books may have noticed that I’m a sucker for fairy lights. Actually, great rule of thumb while you’re reading the Frean Chronicles: are there fairy lights? Yes? Then there’s about to be some romance. I don’t make the rules, I just play the game.

It stands to reason then that I am an absolute kid in a candy shop the moment the Christmas lights go up around town.

I know the holidays can be a tricky time for some of us, and a stressful time for most, but I hope that wherever you are, wherever this newsletter finds you, that you are safe, healthy, happy, and that you find even a snowflake sized drop of joy to hold close to your heart.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!


Book Clubs

The Frean Chronicles made a couple appearances at book clubs this month, and I was terrified- I mean honored – to speak at two of them.

Are you hosting a Book Club for Contest of Queens? or Queen’s Catacombs?
Are you more interested in planning the snacks and feature cocktails than you are in planning the discussion questions for the books?


Fret not, I have you covered!

Oh, I see you eyeing up that Rosemary for Memory mimosa! It was so easy to make (with or without the prosecco). All you do is pour equal parts cranberry juice and orange juice in large ice cube trays and decorate the top with real cranberries and a sprig of rosemary. I also added some edible glitter for dramatic effect. Freeze overnight and place in your glass of choice, then pour over with *room temperature* prosecco (this will help the ice cube melt, and the ice cubes will chill the drink anyway – we trialed refrigerated prosecco and ended up with a mostly unmelted mixer). For a non alcoholic option, pour over with any sparkling grape juice of your choice!

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZM6kVCAt6/

Enjoy! And for Queen’s sake, keep reading!

Review Corner

Reviews are so helpful in getting word of Contest of Queens and Queen’s Catacombs out there. If you have time, and if you’ve read the book, I would be eternally grateful if you could leave a star rating and/or a written review on Goodreads or Amazon.

Thank you to all the wonderful people who have left a star rating or review! I got some great reviews this month, the most cryptic being: “Connor is more of a Conner.”

x live magically

Away

Something a little harsher. Mild violence warning. A short story about escapism.

This will likely be my last short story published here for a while. I have three incredible writing projects I’m so so excited about working on this year and between those and my day job- I don’t see myself having time for much more. But I hope you’ve enjoyed them. If you want more, please check out my short stories from previous months, and in the meantime, save a space on your bookshelf for my upcoming novel: Contest of Queens!

Image credit: https://www.deviantart.com/hibbary/art/caught-in-light-4024772

She closed her eyes.

A Griffin stood before her. The sleek feathered head, wings, and talons of an eagle merging seamlessly to the silky haunches and tail of a lion. It towered over her, head high. A Queen surveying her subject. The sunlight shone like gold on its fur, and shimmered across iridescent feathers. Its eyes held an ancient knowing of one who has understood their power for as long as a mountain has known its height. 

Without thinking, she sunk into a deep, reverential bow. Pain bloomed down her left side as she bent forward. Her breath caught, she squeezed her eyes tight shut, and focused on the creature before her. She watched the breeze playfully ruffle feather and fur, watched the creature’s long tail flick ever so slightly. Minute adjustments and shifted posture gave life to this creature of legend. With every breath, the goddess became mortal.

The Griffin inclined its head slightly and clicked its beak. Hesitantly, she approached. Each step soundless, weightless. She slowly bridged the distance between them; its great eye watching her all the while. She was now close enough to count the barbs along individual feather vanes. Each snowy white feather crowned in soot black. A loaded quill awaiting parchment. 

She raised a hand, the Griffin bowed its head, and she placed her palm against its cheek. Her nails were decidedly intact, her wrists purposefully unblemished. Tan on black on white. Eyes level, she saw the turn of the Earth within its iris, saw the depth of the night sky within its pupil. Gently, she stroked its cheek. The Griffin closed its eyes and made a contented sound deep in its throat. A dove’s coo harmonized with a kitten’s purr. She smiled, wincing only slightly as her lips pulled taut and cracked. 

Her eyes slid down its neck to rest on the space between its wing joints. Again, the Griffin beckoned, shifting its head. She tentatively traced her palm down the line her eyes had drawn. Then, her body unnaturally light, lifted herself upward and settled in between the wing joints. She could almost feel the warmth against her thigh and the feathers slipping between her fingers as she sought a handhold among the rachides. 

She inhaled. Warm notes of hay, chestnuts, and pine resin danced in her mind, fighting back the scent of mildew and gasoline. 

A sudden metallic crash rang in her ears and resonated within her skull, rattling her bones.The screech of something monstrous. She buried her face in the Griffin’s neck. Her eyes squeezed shut. Through the reverberation, she could hear the gentle cooing echo in the creature’s throat. The soft sound drowned out the dying crash. Heavy footsteps followed, but had no place where they were headed. 

Emboldened, she sat upright and applied the slightest pressure through her knees. As though awaiting this command, the Griffin tossed its majestic head, flicked its tail, and set off at a gallop. The approaching footsteps became the pounding of paw and talon. 

One,

Two,

Three great strides and the creature launched itself into the unknown.

The field slipped away from them as they rose higher towards the heavens. She was the fulcrum, and the world spun beneath her. All life now orbiting her place on the Griffin’s back. Air currents swirled around her, cooling her feverish brow. She stretched her arms to either side, embracing the light, and was almost able to ignore the dull ache spanning the length of her ribs.

She felt a bubble of laughter building in her chest. Light and playful it burst forth and danced around the clouded realm. The anticipated windswept laughter hit her ears with hollow dissonance. Losing its substance as it fell from her lips, the marrow sucked from a bone. A dry, rasping husk of joy. 

Still she looked higher. Clouds enveloped and released them. They soared above meadows of mist. Fluffy white mountains and milky valleys stretched away below; all edged in a golden glow. 

“Alright girly, get up,” a harsh voice scraped from coarse throat. Its notes flew at her. The words chased her as she spurred the Griffin forward. She glanced behind them, her breath caught in her throat as she glimpsed the sinuous shape emerging from the gathering clouds. Ruby eyes gleaming, scales glistening, it stalked her on the wind. 

She bent low over the Griffin’s neck and urged the creature onwards. Great wings beating on either side of her, matching and masking the sharp, swift flashes of pain blossoming within her like fireworks.     

The clouds darkened, billowing up to meet her. Shadows corrupted the valleys of light. A patch of sun remained high above her. She pleaded the Griffin higher. Arms outstretched, pain devoured her as she reached her fingers towards the sun. 

Then her wrists were wrenched behind her. Manacles materialized and she felt the hard back of a chair along her spine. Her last patch of light snuffed out. Shadows rose up to consume them as down, down they fell. Wings became paper thin and useless. Hands and talons grasped at nothing. The Griffin screamed. Eagle cry blended with lion roar. The crashing of thunder merged with howling winds. The scream exploded in the void, echoing through the darkness, struggling for purchase in the abyss, growing softer and weaker, until finally, dying in a girl’s whimper. 

Slowly, her eyes opened.

A man stood before her. She glared up at him through swollen eyelids. Breathing heavily through gritted teeth and cracked ribs, her vision swam. Blood smeared his knuckles. He dragged a forearm under his nose and spat near her foot. For a moment, she caught sight of the gleaming red eyes of a serpent. The inked beast twisted around his wrist. 

On the Belief of Fairies

A lighthearted story to start the year off the right way. This is about one of those moments in history that gives me the giggles every time I think about it, and I just hope I did it enough justice that it gives you the giggles too. So the timeline has been tweaked a little to make the story more condensed, and I took some artistic liberties, but the events are accurate. Two young girls did manage to fool Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, esteemed author of Sherlock Holmes, (as well as many many other people) with photographs of ‘real’ fairies. Like my other stories, this one pairs well with a cup of tea- may I suggest something floral? Chamomile, perhaps?

Cottingley, England. 1920

“The state you’re in!” Elsie’s mother’s voice crashed into the girls as they came into view, making them stop short at the parlor door. She rose from her seat at the window and strode towards them. Her stern posture somewhat ruined by the dimples flickering in her cheeks. 

Frances, Elsie’s younger cousin, looked down guiltily at their bare feet, grass and mud clinging to their soles, and winced at the inches of sopping hem above their ankles. 

“Where have you been? We have a visitor arriving soon.” Elsie’s mother cushioned the word visitor as though it were a precious vase. Elsie clutched her sketchbook tightly and glanced at Frances.

“We were visiting the fairies.” Frances said sweetly, exchanging a knowing look with Elsie and stifling a grin. The dimples in Elsie’s mother’s cheeks deepened and all hints of severity smoothed out with an indulgent smile.

Elsie’s father snapped his newspaper from where he sat on the settee. He did not look up, but Elsie could see the lines deepen on his forehead, and heard a distinctive short, sharp sniff.

“Did you see any today?” Elsie’s mother asked.

“Yeah, loads!” Frances replied, absently scratching one foot with the toes of the other.

Seeing an opportunity, Elsie added, “If father allowed us to use his camera again, we could have taken some more pictures to show you.” She sighed delicately, though loud enough to carry over her father’s paper barricade. He did not respond, but sat now too still for one supposedly reading.

“Never mind that,” her mother said with a wave. “Hurry and change into something dry, and put some shoes on. Elsie, help Frances fix her ribbon will you? And clean up that muck. You look like you’ve been living in the woods.”

Before the girls could obey, a crunching of gravel, the knocking on and creaking of the front door, and the purposeful footfalls of a man with an appointment made them scurry behind Elsie’s mother. There was a murmuring just beyond the parlor entranceway.

A servant appeared and announced, “Ma’am, the theosophist, Mr. Edward Garner is here.”

With a panicked and slightly exasperated look at Elsie, her mother removed a leaf from her daughter’s hair and said, “Send him in.”

The servant bowed, stepped aside, and gestured for their guest to enter.

The shine of his shoes entered first. The man followed. He wore a dark suit, white shirt, and an understated dark tie. His seams had been pressed, and his tailor- most likely- well paid for his diligence. His hair was white, and his salt and pepper goatee was trimmed neatly. He stood in the doorway with the air of a man used to speaking from podiums. Surveying the parlor, he caught sight of the nature-tumbled girls, opened his palms by his sides, and beamed.

“And this must be Miss Elsie and Frances Griffiths,” he said. The girls said nothing, they simply stared.

“The very same,” Elsie’s mother nodded and shot a look at Elsie that compelled her to step forward.

“I’m Elsie, sir, and this is my cousin, Frances.” 

Frances took a half step forward. Mr. Gardner beamed wider still and shook each of their hands in turn. He did not appear to notice their grubby nails and mud smeared palms.

“Marvelous!” he exclaimed. “I’ve been so looking forward to meeting the girls who discovered fairies!” He bounced slightly on the balls of his feet and wrung his hands excitedly.

Frances giggled, “Our fairies?”

“Yes indeed little Miss, you and your cousin have made a breakthrough of religious proportion. To think that you have done what many have tried and failed to do; captured fairies on film! And it’s not just me who wants to see them, I have been sent by my dear friend Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. He entrusted me to determine whether these photographs are to be believed.” He inflated visibly at the mention of his friend and looked around expectantly.

The girls exchanged a glance. Elsie felt her cheeks flush and her stomach flutter. “Sir Arthu… you mean…” she began.

“The great author of Sherlock Holmes, naturally.” Mr. Gardner supplied, standing taller.

“He wants to see our fairies too?” Frances asked incredulously.

“That he does, that he does. He has even sent you each a camera to use as a thank you for documenting these elusive creatures.”

The two girls were speechless. Mr. Gardner appeared to take it as a sign of awe and gratitude. Elsie’s father finally lowered his paper.

“Arthur Wright,” he said to Mr. Gardner by way of introduction. Mr. Gardner shook his offered hand. “How did you hear about the girls’ photographs?” Arthur asked.

“Dear, I told you,” Elsie’s mother hurried to explain, “I shared them at the Theosophical Society’s lecture in Bradford last year. Mr. Gardner saw them and…”

“Became captivated by them!” Mr. Gardner finished merrily. “Now,” he turned to the girls, “if I may, where can I see the fairies?”

Elsie shifted her sketchbook slightly behind her and looked away. Frances scratched her foot again absentmindedly and said, “Well, the thing is, sir, you can’t.” The words were pulled from her slowly by the steady gaze of the eager theosophist. 

Mr. Gardner looked like a balloon that had just met a pin and began to deflate before their eyes. “I ca-” he began.

“Because they don’t show themselves to adults… especially men.” Elsie cut him off, giving Frances’ hand a squeeze.

A silence echoed around them as Mr. Gardner visibly fought with his disappointment. 

“Ah! Of course!” He said finally, re-inflating. “I should have guessed. Much like the myth of the Unicorn. Yes, very similar. I suppose it follows. Quite right. Say no more! That’s what the cameras are for after all. I will… well you two go and find the fairies, and I will…”

“Would you like a cup of tea Mr. Gardner?” Elsie’s mother offered. “And maybe some biscuits while you wait?”

Mr. Gardner beamed. It was settled. The girls were each given a new camera and set off towards the beck, a small stream in the woods at the back of the property. Mr. Gardner remained inside with Mr. and Mrs. Wright as the latter suggested. The former skeptic, Mr. Wright was only too eager to insist that he had believed, like Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, in the photographs from the moment he saw them. 

Elsie and Frances, feet still wet from earlier, carried their cameras and a pouch filled with secrets into the woods. 

“Isn’t it wonderful to have Sherlock Holmes investigate our fairies?” Frances whispered. “What if he finds out they’re fake?”

“What if he doesn’t?” Elsie whispered even quieter, her eyes sparkled.

It had drizzled all morning and tiny pearls of rain glistened from leaves and petals across the garden. As the girls passed through the trees, their pace slowed to one of reverence. Their hands fell to their sides to caress the still-damp leaves in their path. Moss absorbed their footfalls. Their steady breathing mingled and became lost in the breeze flickering through the trees. Sunlight shone in dappled patterns around them, illuminating their eyelashes and dancing through their hair. The beck giggled away to their right, guiding their course.

Theirs was a place of whispers.

Standing stone still, moss creeping up their heels, the girls paused with hands held. The sounds of the woods floated around them. A robin’s song rippled from a nearby branch. It did not take much imagination to believe that this was a realm for fairies.

The girls set to work. Elsie, with an artist’s eye, selected the perfect location. Frances readied one of the cameras and passed Elsie the small pouch. Elsie carefully retrieved a few hatpins and her latest creation: a delicate dancing figure with dragonfly wings, her arms outstretched and toes pointed, carefully cut from paper. Admiring the way the sunlight shimmered through the thin paper, she began positioning the tiny figure among the leaves and secured it with a hatpin. She stood back to regard the effect with her head tilted, readjusted the hatpin, and considered it again. It was a while before she was satisfied.

“Ok, now Frances, you stand there and look as though this fairy is flying towards you… hang on, let me fix your ribbon.”

The shutter clicked and clicked again. The paper coming to life with each picture captured. Finally, as though completing a ritual, the girls took their little paper muses to the beck and watched them float away. One got caught briefly in an eddy and Elsie swore she heard it laughing. 

Once the film had been developed, the girls showed their pictures to Mr. Gardner triumphantly. He was speechless for a time and appeared to be blurred around the edges, such was his excitement. 

“Marvelous!” he exclaimed. “Oh I can just hear my dear friend Sir Arthur Conan Doyle now, I’ll show him the photographs and ask, ‘Is this mere imagination?’ and he will laugh that laugh of his and reply, ‘How often is imagination the mother of truth?’” Mr. Gardner chuckled to himself, then, seeing the blank look on the girls’ faces, added, “Just a little Sherlock Holmes joke for you.”

They smiled weakly.

A few months passed after Mr. Gardner’s visit. Elsie was reading to Frances by the fire. A shriek shattered the tranquil moment and Elsie’s mother ran into the room holding a magazine and a crumpled letter to her breast.

“Girls! My darling girls! It’s your fairies! Sir Arthur- he’s written an article! Sent us a copy. In a magazine! Apparently it has already sold out. They’re having to reprint. Can you believe? You! You two have brought the discovery of fairies to the world!” She paused for breath, face glowing and letter still clutched tightly in her fist. She thrust the magazine at Elsie who accepted it in stunned silence.

“Arthur!” Elsie’s mother shrieked. “Arthur, you must see this!” and she vanished from the room as quickly as she had come.

The two girls looked at each other and Elsie slowly opened the magazine. There were their photographs in the middle of an eight page article boldly titled: The Evidence for Fairies. Their names had been changed, but their faces were very much still clearly in the photographs. 

Elsie quickly scanned the article and read the caption under the picture of Frances and the leaping fairy out loud, “‘The fairy is leaping up from leaves below and hovering for a moment. It had done so three or four times. Rising a little higher than before, Alice’ – that’s you Frances- ‘thought it would touch her face and involuntarily tossed her head back.’ He then says, ‘A girl of fifteen is old enough to be a good witness, and her flight and the clear detail of her memory point to a real experience.’”

She put a hand to her mouth as Frances snatched the magazine from her to read it herself.

“But…” Frances said finally, “he’s a detective!”

“No, he just writes about one.” Elsie said quietly.

“But he should be cleverer because he writes about one.”

“Maybe…” Elsie scanned the article again, her fingers brushing the image of the leaping fairy. “Maybe he just wants to believe they’re real?”

“Oh.” Frances scratched the top of one foot with the other, thinking. “Well… well now we really can’t tell him the truth.” she said.

“No. We’d ruin it.” Elsie agreed.

“So, what now?”

“I guess… the game is afoot. Not a word, Watson!”  

Images taken from Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cottingley_Fairies

To read Sir Arthur Conan’s article, The Evidence for Fairies visit: https://www.arthur-conan-doyle.com/index.php/The_Evidence_for_Fairies

The Portrait of a Monarch

I have always been somewhat obsessed with King Henry VIII and his wives. It is such a fascinating period in history and it really is amazing how one man’s desire for a male heir changed the course of a country’s history and even their religion. I fell in love with this period in time mostly through Philippa Gregory’s novels and have always thought that Anne of Cleves, though only married to Henry for six months, won (if it can be considered a contest). She doesn’t get much fanfair, and we don’t have nearly as much information about her as we do of say Anne Boleyn, but she ended up outliving Henry and all of his previous and later wives. She lived out her days known as, “The King’s Beloved Sister,” and according to record, never actually had to consummate the marriage. What. A. Queen. So here’s a little story about the beginning of their end.

It is said a portrait is worth a thousand words. A thousand words. Is a thousand words enough to define a person? To capture their true essence and reveal the inner workings of their soul? Is a thousand words enough with which to fall in love? Surely the number should be higher? The portraits required should be numerous? And what a responsibility to hang on the artist. The stress of the job must burn one out before they are halfway to four and twenty. But the King of England was in need of another wife, so Anne’s picture was painted, packed, and shipped to the English Monarch. 

Portraits of both Anne and her sister had been requested, as the King enjoyed options, and a simple alliance of families was all that was needed. Portrait-sitting was a tiresome activity and Anne had enjoyed making faces at her sister behind the artists’ back to pass the time. She had studied her likeness in her reflection and compared it to the finished portrait. Sure, the oil imitation held a shadow of her smile, and hinted at the crinkle around her eyes, but it really only captured a single facet of who she was. Tipping and angling her face in her looking glass, she shifted through a myriad of Annes. Each singular and unique until another expression took its place. She could only hope, as she inspected her oil likeness for signs of variation, that the artist captured the Anne that would be most pleasing to the King. 

When his portrait arrived, she could not help but wonder which versions had been omitted in favor of the captured colossus presented to her household. While her portrait had been sent as a question, his had been sent as a statement. It declared: “Here is your husband.” In preparation, she curtseyed with head bowed under the portrait’s cold eye when she passed it in the hall.

Her portrait was selected, and her sister brushed an expression of excitement on her own features for Anne’s benefit. Just like her painting, she was packed up and shipped to England. Her stomach rolling, breath shallow, and palms clammy, she did what she was bid without complaint. 

Maybe Painted Anne had been just as nervous? After all, she had been locked in the dark and propelled across bumpy roads and a tumultuous sea only to be unwrapped in a foreign land and gawked at by foreign people. Although, Painted Anne’s duty had been simple: accurately represent the real Anne of Cleves. She did not have to worry about pleasing the King, adopting the English customs, or learning to speak their tongue. She did not even have to consider what it meant to be the fourth wife of a King who changed his country’s religion for a divorce. A King who, when that was not enough, relieved his second wife’s neck of the burden of her head. No, Painted Anne could sit quietly and let events fall as they may. Not a single crease to blemish her smooth brow.

Meanwhile, the Real Anne tore through several kerchiefs during her shipment. Twisting and knotting her worries into the embroidered fabric until the stitched monogram warped beyond recognition. She had no way to prepare for what was expected of her, and no frame of reference to guide her. Her first betrothal had never amounted to anything more than a few sweet verses of proclaimed love she still kept within the pages of her bible. But, when given the choice between herself and her sister, the King had chosen her. Surely that was promising? Was it possible to love someone from their portrait?

She was unpacked in an English tower. Her things put in their proper place while she floated about, unsure where to land. The English spoke quickly and took her silence for agreement– or at least for a lack of protest.

Finally, they seated her in a chair by the window. The courtyard below was a flurry of activity as a number of small dogs took it in turns to attack a tethered bull. The men and women around her cheered and clapped as the little dog darted at the poor beast. Coin changed hands, goblets were refilled, and a new dog was introduced to the fray. Anne mirrored the reactions of those around her. She fell into their rhythm and made sure to smile at those who made eye contact with her.

A knock at the door interrupted the spectacle. Her companions exchanged knowing looks and eyed her with excitement. She rose. The door opened. A drunk in a thread-bare cloak stumbled in.

“Happy New Year,” he slurred in broken German; the first words she had understood all afternoon.

“A gift from the King of England,” he said, a roguish glint in his eye. She stood very still and he lunged at her. Clasping her tightly and smothering her mouth with his, he forced a small token into her fist as he drew back. His eyes were hungry and he looked at her expectantly.

She tasted the remnants of stale ale and onions on her lips, felt the blood rush to her cheeks, and heard a ringing in her ears. The room turned to look at her. Dozens of eyes alive with Schadenfreude fixed upon her flushed face and wet lips. The bull bellowed in the courtyard below. Still the drunk waited. She squeezed the token in her hand as though to reduce it to dust. Breathing sharply through her nose, she felt a smile lift the corners of her eggshell mouth.

“My thanks to his majesty,” she responded in barely a whisper. As though moving through mud, she lowered herself in a curtsey, then sank into her seat. She forced her gaze to return to the bull baiting below.

His next attempts at conversation were lost to her ears. The drunk’s blundered German, rather than setting her at ease, opened an ache for home within her heart so profound it was all she could do to remain upright, eyes fixed on the bull. The little dogs nipped and yipped at the stoic creature far below. It snorted and lowered its deadly horns in a challenge.

After a time, the drunk retreated. The door clicked shut and the room was silent but for the sounds from the courtyard below. No one approached the painted figure in the window.

A knock came again. She turned, dreading a similar visitor. The door opened and the drunk reappeared, transformed. As if by magic, he now was adorned with jewels and wore a coat of deep purple velvet. A man heralded his entrance and Anne picked out the words, “His Majesty, the King of England, King Henry the Eighth.”

The room erupted in applause, and the King beamed with arms outstretched. Anne hurried to clap with the others, all the while feeling a pit form in her stomach. From far below, the bull bellowed again. It strained against its rope as the dogs circled closer, teeth bared. The crowd jeered.

She caught the King’s eye and noticed a deep crease upon his royal brow as he regarded her. Piecing her smile back together, she received her fiancé warmly. This time, determined to show that his presence thrilled rather than offended. That his breath was sweet, his German fluent, and his touch welcome. He explained the rules of bull-baiting to her as though to a child, and he ensured she was presented with a fine selection of sweetmeats. All the while, the same thought ran through her mind: The royal painter is a liar.

A selection of the many portraits made of King Henry VIII across his reign. Main source: https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Henry_VIII

Source for Bull-Baiting image: https://canineheritage.weebly.com/bull-baiting.html

Source for Anne of Cleves image: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne_of_Cleves

An Ocean Throne

This short story was inspired by the song Anne Bonny by Karliene and the subsequent research I did about the Villainous, Infamous, Pirate Queen. For those who don’t know, Anne Bonny is one of the most famous female pirates of all time. Her brutal final words to her lover are what drew me to her story. I wanted to play with that final moment and this was the result. I took some artistic liberties, but for the most part the events are as they were reported to have happened. Enjoy!

The light sea breeze brushed a tendril of auburn hair from her face and danced in the sails. An old nursemaid caressing the cheek of a beloved ward. Anne smiled and reveled in the sensation. The wind was laced with the brine of distant seas. The smell was ingrained in her being like the salt water that thrummed through her veins in blood’s stead. 

Sparkling like jewels more brilliant than any her crew had seized, the morning sunlight coruscated from the ruffled surface of the ocean. The soft sound of waves lapping against the hull of the William more familiar to her than her own heartbeat. A lone gull heralded the dawn somewhere off the Jamaican coast.

Anne stood at the helm, hand resting idly on the wheel, surveying the sea. Her home, her realm, her Queendom. A throne not passively won, and not easily kept. Her crown, a more practical tricorne hat, perched atop her flaming locks that cascaded free and defiant down her back. There had been a time when she had hidden her hair and bound her chest. Women could not be pirates, afterall. But a Queen could change the rules, so a Queen she had become.

The deck was still. Her men were sleeping off a night of drink below. Their recent haul yet another excuse to fill then promptly empty the rum stores. An ebb and flow as inevitable as the tides themselves.

A creak and the sound of soft footfalls brought her from her reverie. Mary Read, a Queen in her own right, had risen early. She too had avoided the deep cups the men had been so eager to fill the night before. 

Anne watched Mary make her way up the steps from the deck below. The women acknowledged each other with a slight nod of the head. Mary had long since replaced Jack as Anne’s right hand man. Not that Jack had noticed his demotion. The two stood silently looking out, not to shore, but out to the horizon.

Anne felt the life within her stir and placed a hand to her swollen belly. Mary looked at her and smiled. “Let’s hope she’s a fighter,” she said softly.

“Aye,” Anne agreed. “Lord knows the world has enough pretty fools.”

Silence settled around them again.

“The men should be up by now,” Mary observed dryly.

“They should,” Anne said. “And more’s their sorrow the longer they’re not.”

The sun flashed brightly as it rose higher above the horizon. Anne lifted a palm to shield her eyes. Momentarily blinded, she blinked and lowered her hand. As if by magic, the mast of a lone sloop now emerged from the light; it rounded the point and entered the bay. Bow aimed like an arrow towards the William. In one fluid motion, Anne swept the spyglass from her belt and peered at the apparition.  

The sloop silently slipped towards their ship. Encircled in a brass frame, Anne saw a crew of uniformed officials running about the deck, a man she recognized as Captain Jonathan Barnet shouted orders from the helm. 

Her eyes returned to her own ship and she looked about the empty deck. Her mind flew to the cots of drunken pirates below. As one, the two women split and ran down the steps on either side of the wheel, shouting all the while. 

“Up! Up! Ye squiffy dogs!”

“Sail, ho!”

“All hands! All hands on deck!”

The sounds from below were sudden but slow.

Too slow, Anne thought bitterly. She and Mary shared a knowing look and rushed to retrieve swords and pistols. Their anchor was tucked in the ocean floor below like a child in its cradle, the sails hung limply in the still air. The men moved like wax dripping down a tallow candle. Some half dressed, most with rum on their breath. 

And still the sloop sailed closer.

“Damn it,” Mary cursed, loading her pistol with shaking hands. 

In the calm before the storm, the two women clasped hands. Half a handful of men blundered about them, struggling to get to their positions. From the corner of her eye, Anne saw Jack, her Jack, the infamous Calico Jack, trip over a lead line and vomit bodily over the side. 

Then the storm hit.

Anne lost Mary’s hand in the sudden crash of metal on wood. Masts splintered, sails ripped and were torn free of their eyelets and rigging. The William was at the mercy of the sloop’s cannon fire, while its own cannons sat useless. Screams and groans filled her ears. The sharp scent of gunpowder stung her nostrils. She felt the polished wood pommel of her pistol, warm as though alive in her palm, and fired. Satisfied briefly as a body fell at the end of her shot, she dove for cover to reload.

Anne and Mary fought like two edges of the same blade. A lone sword in the ambush. They stood as their ship’s last defence, and held their ground viciously. Though it felt like an eternity, the battle was fought and lost in a matter of minutes. Anne only dropped her weapon when cold steel touched her throat. Warm blood trickled from cheek to chin. Her lip had split. She winced as wounds she had not felt began to make themselves known. Mary struggled in the arms of an officer until a blow to the side forced her to her knees. Men littered the deck like discarded rum bottles and had been just as useful. Many, she noticed, had fled below deck, if they had surfaced at all. 

Captain Barnet stepped slowly and purposefully around the captured crew. His hand on the hilt of a sword he had not unsheathed. He surveyed the scene with the look of a man who had just stepped off the docks and into something foul. Sneering, he came to a stop before Calico Jack. Jack’s namesake clothing was torn and stained. Blood and worse streaked the calico material. 

“You and your crew are to be hanged until dead,” Captain Barnet intoned, bored. “By order of Governor Nicholas Lawes.”

Anne looked about her helplessly. Her hand instinctively curled around her belly. A defiant kick came from within and she gasped. “Mercy!” she cried, struggling against her captor to stand and address the Captain. “I plead the belly!”

“Aye! As do I.” Came Mary’s voice from where she still crouched; her face pressed against the boards. The two women exchanged a grim smile. Life within securing life without. 

Captain Barnet nodded slowly and gave orders for the prisoners to be bound and led to the untouched sloop. The William now a broken shell of its former glory.

The pirates were forced into the sloop’s hold, some still trying to shake off their drunken haze. Anne and Mary were pulled aside to be separated from their doomed crewmen. Jack looked around blearily, hands bound in front, and sought Anne out. He spotted her and came alive with motion. Before the officers could stop him, he rushed over and clasped her hands in his.

“Think of me, my love,” he croaked. His breath a concoction of old rum and bile. Anne wrinkled her nose and regarded him coldly. The colossus she had left her husband, home, and land for. Now, the deflated husk of a captain. The black mark stained him. She could almost see the hangman’s noose about his neck.

“Had you fought like a man,” she said, her voice a deadly whisper, “you wouldn’t be about to die like a dog.”

He was wrenched from her, but she had already turned from him before he disappeared below. 

She felt a smaller hand clasp hers. Mary stood beside her. Their eyes met, then their gaze shifted. They looked not towards shore, but out to the horizon. A sudden gust of wind flew through Anne’s hair and threw her tricorne to the deck. An officer bent, picked it up, and with a cruel grin, tossed it into the sea. It floated for a second, whirled in an eddie, then disappeared below the waves.